Embracing Obstacles as Opportunities for Growth

First and foremost, welcome. I am extremely honored that out of the 10 items on your task list, the 5 drafted text messages you never hit reply to (btw, hit reply, chile), the Zoom meetings you need to prep for, the oversaturated and overstimulating social media pages you manage, the meetings you need to schedule, the calls you need to return, and the so on and so forth—you made a very deliberate and conscious decision to join me here.

When we join something or someone, a link is created, and through that link, a connection is formed. Connection is a vital asset—especially in a world where extraction, removal, isolation, and cut-off culture are uplifted and worn as badges of honor. Don’t get me wrong, I love my space—no, I need my space—but we don’t exist in this world alone. Everything is perfectly, beautifully, and dysfunctionally intertwined. So when I offer my thanks to you, I need you to understand the potency attached to it. My prayer is that you feel prickles all over your skin and a calm hovering over your heart. I deeply revere the sacredness of time, because time is a commodity that has been stolen from us by capitalism, and it can’t be returned to us.

Wherever you are when you arrive at this space,

I recommend that you ask yourself for permission to be as present as you possibly can, for as long as you possibly can. Now, pause and invite in breath. Allow it to fill your lungs; allow your belly to swell. We are breathing in opportunities and breathing out obstacles—not in the hope of being totally liberated from them because that ain’t realistic—but with the intent to improve our endurance.

Longer exhales can help people do difficult tasks for longer periods of time. By definition, an obstacle is something that blocks one's way, prevents, or hinders progress. Opportunities, on the other hand, are a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something. Confronting obstacles may feel like banging your head on a masonry stone wall. But what if we viewed the various situations, circumstances, or people that temporarily hinder our progress as opportunities for growth? When faced with these challenges, we have no choice but to pull from within, to develop new skills, to tap into the inner wisdom that was dormant, to deepen our acceptance, or to expand our courage. We're usually unable to recognize the benefits of the struggle because, in the midst, we are often holding on for dear life, praying that we can survive. And for those of us who have danced with the struggle for years, it’s even harder to foresee a future without worry or dread until we come up for air. The revelation feels like it came straight out of Revelations  until it’s purpose s revealed.

What if the obstacles were the catalyst for our growth?

In the profound words of a St. Louis-based poet, Rae Lay Down the Truth: “Look what we’ve grown through, look what we’ve grown through, ya never know what u can do.” One definition of the word growth is the process of increasing in physical size. Here, in this moment, we aren’t focusing on this corporeal reality. We are interrogating, investigating, and celebrating the augmentations that have taken place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want you to ask yourself what aspects of you have been forged in the fire.

I know that for me, clarity came after confusion. The confusion forced me to be still, sort through the madness that was my life, and begin releasing what I couldn’t control while creating an action plan for the things that were within my sphere of control.

Ask yourself: What has your rage and anger alchemized into? What was born out of your abandonment? Or what about when you haphazardly entered into that relationship because the desire for companionship was so overwhelming that you bypassed the red flags, like a novice flag football player just trying to get one touchdown? Did it teach you the importance of taking your time, setting your standards, and ensuring that you were in alignment with your own values?

What about that time you got on stage and froze or stumbled over your words during a presentation? Hopefully, those incidents either pushed you to stay ready so you wouldn’t have to get ready, or they led you into a space where you could look beyond perfection and bear witness to your humanness. Maybe that was the first time you embraced all that is you with tenderness and care because you needed it to survive yourself. When we find ourselves disheveled and disheartened by the nature of the world, we should shuffle through all the memories we have banked and grasp the one that brings us a diminutive amount of peace, clinging to it like a child suckling at their mother’s breast. Allow that memory to be the nutrients needed to combat the starvation of the spirit. Fasten the clasp, and don’t let go until relief washes over your soul and love becomes palpable. This is another opportunity. We don’t let obstacle harden our hearts. We don’t become the oppressor that that oppressor so desperately wants us to become.

Whew, chile, what about the fictitious insurmountable pain you felt from rejection? It’s not fictitious in the moment that it surges through your body. Once you crawled out of the internalization stage, you realize—yeah, it stung like a wasp bite on the elbow—but that situation demanded that you build a level of trust with yourself that you never knew you had. The reassurance required, the amount of pouring into yourself that was now mandatory—it was necessary to hydrate the parched aspects of you that were thirsty and begging for droplets of approval.

I learned what I was truly capable of after I faced several obstacles. I met them, and at times I was overpowered by them—until I wasn’t. Next, I analyzed them when it was time. I climbed on top of the bulldozer, put the key in the ignition, straightened my back, adjusted my seat, positioned my mirror, and put the pedal to the metal, smashing the gas until I was on the other side of whatever the thing was or is.

No, I’m not casting a future riddled with obstacles upon you, nor am I professing hardships or burdensome days over your life. Listen, life is going to happen and obstacles are inevitable so you can allow them to be fuel or fume.  I’m curious to know what you learned about you during some of your most challenged times.  This is the surface, we must go deeper